Journal Jots – Blog

“Stand firm …

without being frightened in any way by those who oppose you.

This is a sign to them that they will be destroyed,

but that you will be saved—and that by God.

 —Philippians 1:28

 Have you ever read a book where the villain was SO hateful and awful that you wanted to string them up? And, no, I’m not talking about Charity O’Connor here, although I have received a number of e-mails in the past asking me to “slap Charity for them” or that they wanted to see her “maimed or killed.” Let’s face it, when we read a book or watch a movie where the bad guy (or girl) does something awful, you either want to throw the book across the room or spit at the TV screen, or at the very least, rail out loud. Or …  at least I do. But even if you are one of those who does not keep a bottle of Windex by your TV or your walls have nary a dent or scratch from a book, you still get mad, right?

And when someone makes us mad, NOTHING feels better than making them mad right back. For instance, I still remember how my sweet, little, compliant son would respond when I spanked him (which I rarely had to do because he was just that good of a kid). I had this little paddle and if the infraction warranted it, I would give either my son or daughter one whack on the bottom and send them to their room. Well, the first time this happened with my boy, instead of crying, he looked me straight in the eye and smiled as if he hadn’t felt a thing, which, of course, I promptly rememedied. But that look in his eye, like you are not going to get to me, Mom, so typifies our human nature, doesn’t it? It’s kind of our way to spit in the eye of those who make us mad.

This morning in my Joyce Meyer devotional, Hearing From God Each Morning, Joyce referenced our Scripture above in a devotion entitled “Frustrate the Enemy.” She talks about satan (sorry, I never capitalize his name if I can help it and neither does Joyce Meyer, apparently …) and what our response should be when he comes slinking around. She says, “This verse encourages us not to be frightened or intimidated when the devil comes against us,” but to “show (him) that he cannot handle us.” Not only does this demonstrate to the Lord that “we have faith in Him,” but it also “releases (God’s) power into our situations and deliver us.”

Sweet spit, I couldn’t agree more!! Some of you will remember a prior Journal Jot where I talked about stubbing my bare toe on the steel leg of the bed when I was a brand-new Christian in my 20s, and since I have incredibly sensitive feet, it hurt like the “devil.” With a cry of pain, I grabbed my toe and fell down, curse words rising to my tongue, ready to spew. It was during a time of my life when I was radically obedient to God or tried to be, so instead of curse words, I forced other words out of my mouth, screaming, “Praise God, praise God, praise God …” over and over as loud as I could and before I was through, I was laughing on the bed with tears in my eyes.

Another Journal Jot talks about the time I was at a Fuddruckers with a friend and wanted lemonade in the worst way, but my friend insisted on buying me lunch, so I just got water instead. She wasn’t a believer, and I remember talking to her about Christ, about what He had done for me in my life and how much joy I now had. I got up to refill our drinks, and the craziest thing happened. You see, the water spigot was a little white tab on the lemonade spigot, but when I pressed my cup underneath with my finger on the white tab, something in my brain said, “Nobody will know if you take lemonade instead.” Mouth watering, I distinctly remember this fierce passion for God rising up in me so strong, that I literally rammed my finger hard against the white tab till I thought it would break. As water flooded into my glass, a rush of what I can only describe as a surge of adrenalin joy flooded my body, racing my pulse and tingling my skin. This is just a glimmer of the joy your obedience brings to me, the thought came, and I swear I was near trembling before my glass was full. WOW … that was the day I learned that obedience can be a rush!!

In both of the cases above, I clearly remember taking GREAT pleasure in “spitting in satan’s eye” via my obedience to God and therein, felt the flow of God’s joy and approval for me in both situations. Consequently, I have learned to spit in the devil’s eye whenever possible by 1.) Praising God in ALL things, 2.) Speak Scripture into the situation (i.e. Thank you, God, that You cause “all things to work together for good for those who love You and are called according to Your purpose,” 3.) Stand firm with a smile on my face, letting satan know that he is nothing but rancid snake meat crushed beneath the heel of our God.

So I challenge you today to find out just how satisfying it is to spit in the devil’s eye with your obedience to God, your praise and thanksgiving to him and standing firm in the face of adversity because after all, you are on the winning team. And you know what? You just may find yourself, like me, laughing a whole lot more than before …

Happy weekend and may it be full of lots of wonderful spit and shine!

Hugs,

Julie

HAVEN’T READ A HEART REVEALED YET??? Here’s your chance to win it THIS NEXT WEEK — MAY 15-21, 2012 — when I talk about THE TOP FIVE ROMANCE BOOKS THAT HAVE IMPACTED MY LIFE at Book Review Sisters. Hope to see you there — here’s the link:

http://www.bookreviewsisters.com/

 

NEW CONTEST TILL MAY 31ST!!! Three chances to win!!

A PASSION MOST PURE IS $2.99 ON KINDLE AND NOOK AND $2.39 ON CBD.COM E-BOOK!!  This is your chance not only to get a great deal, but to win a signed copy of any of my books, including A Love Surrendered, a $50 gift card AND have a bit character named after you in Steven’s story, A Love Surrendered, due out in October. DETAILS ON THE CONTEST TAB OF MY WEBSITE, SO CHECK IT OUT!!

NEW FEATURE ON MY WEBSITE!! I read somewhere (Publisher’s Weekly, I think), where authors need to put excerpts on their websites because it increases sales, but I have been MOST negligent in this, so I have remedied that. I now have a tab on my website called “Excerpts,” where I list my favorite romantic and spiritual scenes from each of my books, including my upcoming novel, A Love Surrendered. So spread the word if you know anyone you think might like my books—just direct them to my Excerpts link for a taste of my writing style, okay? Thank you SO much!!

YEP, THE SALE IS STILL ON … Steven’s story, A Love Surrendered is ON SALE IN PRE-ORDER!!! For a very limited time, you can pre-order A Love Surrendered for only $7.72, which is almost half off, so if you plan to order it, NOW is the time to do it and if you do, PLEASE like the link, okay? Here are the links, but keep in mind that CBD.com’s sale price may not be loaded yet:

Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/isbn=0800734173/bakerbookhouseA

Barnes and Noble:
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/love-surrendered-a-julie-lessman/1108614896?ean=9780800734176&afsrc=1&itm=1&r=1&z=y&

Christianbook.com:

http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/product?isbn=9780800734176&event=AFF&p=1011504

Therefore …

 let us throw off everything that hinders

 and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance

the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus,

the author and perfecter of faith.

—Hebrews 12:1-2

When I woke up this morning, it was raining—not just in St. Louis, mind you, but in my mind and in my heart. It should have been light out, but it was dark as night, inside and out, and I could feel the tears welling beneath my eyelids, just begging for a chance to rain along with the weather.

It should have been a good week—I finished my edits for Love at any Cost and the galleys for A Love Surrendered, I got to jump back in to Marcy and Patrick’s prequel A Light in the Window, watch my precious grandbaby one day and made a great showing in the Family Fiction Magazine’s Readers Choice Awards. Which, by the way, many of you helped me to do, so I cannot thank you enough for your ongoing support and friendship—you are a true blessing in my life! Here’s the link if you want to check out the winners across all genres, but note that the best way to view it is to download the PDF for the May/June issue:

 http://www.familyfiction.com/magazines/

So, what happened to put me in such a funk? Well, to be honest, I didn’t really know. All I knew was that Wednesday I wrote like a house afire on Patrick and Marcy’s prequel and loved it!! And then yesterday? The clouds started rolling in. All of a sudden I hit the wall and not only hated everything I wrote, but found myself staring at the blinking cursor with no idea what I should write. Well, I thought to myself, that’s okay—everybody has writer’s block sometimes, and if I just keep writing, it will pass. So I did. But it didn’t. It only got worse until by evening time, I was not only depressed, I was completely unable to write anything—not e-mails, not my book, not my Journal Jot, nothing.

I prayed and tried to write some more, and I did, but it was complete drivel and for the first time in a long time, fear skittered through my body with the thought that it would never come back—that passion for the written word, that love affair with God and romance, that ability to bleed onto the keyboard. Oh, I was bleeding, all right, but it was inside—in my heart and in my soul. And as God is my witness, I didn’t know why.

Last night before I went to bed, I asked Keith to pray with me, and he did, telling me that he’s lived with me for almost 34 years now, and this, too, would pass. Somewhat comforted, I hunkered down with a book (my release from the terrors of the mind) and read till midnight, confident that, as Little Orphan Annie so boldly belted out in the musical of the same name, the sun would, indeed, come out tomorrow.

Only it didn’t. It was, as I said above, black as night … and so was my mood. “Do you have time to have coffee with me out on the porch swing?” Keith asked, and I jumped up immediately, something I usually don’t do on Fridays because that’s when I post my Journal Jot. But there was no gas in the tank, no fuel for the fire, no passion with a purpose. Just a drizzly black sky and a blank computer screen.

“How are you today,” Keith asked, the scent of our hazelnut coffee mingling with that of wet leaves and mulch. “Did your funk leave?” “No, I said, scooting closer, craving his warmth and love to shore me up. “If anything, it’s worse, and I don’t now why.” “Well,” he says in his usual calm manner, tightening his hold, “if there’s anything I’ve learned about you over the years, Julie, it’s that something triggered this, so let’s think back to see what it is.” “I don’t know,” I say, squinting into the misty woods as if the answer were written on the profusion of rain-slick leaves. “I was fine on Wednesday, and then Thursday everything went south.

And then it hit me—a situation earlier in the week where dear friends who I had expected to rejoice with me over the blessing of the Family Fiction awards never said a word. Not. One. Word. Maybe they didn’t get my e-mail, I thought to myself, so I let it go because my next thought was maybe I wasn’t supposed to send it to them anyway. You know, the tooting your own horn thing, which I really despise doing, but it’s a catch-22 with an author. You see, promotion is key, and you have to promote whenever you can, so I did—thanking my reader friends on Facebook for the honor they bestowed on me and sending an e-mail to my dear friends—not just once, mind you, because I thought maybe they didn’t get it, but two and three times with no response. There were so many of you who congratulated me on FB, and I thank you for that, but then I started feeling badly about even posting there because the last thing I want to do is make other authors feel sad or envious. Which, let’s face it—is inevitable with awards in a competitive industry like publishing. And I should know—and you should too—because God knows I’ve written—and repented—about it enough on this blog!

So, I started to spill this out to Keith, and the tears came and the bitterness grew and the day got darker and darker. Suddenly, everything was bringing me down—the dirty floor in the kitchen, the fact I haven’t ridden bikes with Keith in a while, the fact that I only made hot dogs and beans for dinner last night … It was a snowball—no, a hail ball—raining down on my life, damaging my joy and battering my passion to write.

“One of the things I love most about you, Julie,” Keith said, “and probably the #1 reason I married you beside the fact that you’re cute (debatable right now with a pinch in my brows and red-rimmed eyes), is that yes, you are a handful and a royal drama queen and sometimes you mess up a lot, something Amy doesn’t understand about you, but I usually do—most of the time …” He smiles. “But I can honestly say I have never met anybody who rights themselves more quickly than you when you’ve sinned, and that always makes me respect you and love you all the more. For instance, you’re bitter right now, and you’ve allowed it to steal your joy, your sun, your passion for writing, but I know that the minute you repent before God, forgive those friends and let it go, you will jump right back up and move on with what He has for you to do. Because yes, people’s approval is important to you, but you … simply cannot move or breathe without God’s.”

Suddenly the rain stopped, the clouds broke, and the sun came out—literally and figuratively. I knew then what I needed to do. I am an author for God—His grace and anointing allows me to do what He’s called me to do—but not with a wall of bitterness in my heart, shutting it out. Justified by the world, maybe. Justified by God? Never.

And so I laid it down—this sin that “so easily entangles” as our Scripture so wisely points out today, repented and “fixed my eyes on Jesus,” the Author and Perfecter of my faith … and yours. And now? Well, now my heart is light and my fingers twitchy, ready to get back on the keyboard and pour—my love, my passion, my faith in this amazing God—into every word I write. Because the rain has cleared and the sky is blue and the truth dawns bright like the sun, assuring me once again that the very “imperfect” faith of this author is being perfected daily by the “perfect” Author of Life.

Thank you SO much for your precious friendship and may your day and your weekend be free from rain, the dark of night and anything else that hinders, filled instead with the blazing light of His amazing glory and love.

Hugs,

Julie

NEW CONTEST TILL MAY 31ST!!! Three chances to win!! Okay, everybody, this is your chance to win a signed copy of any of my books, including A Love Surrendered, a $50 gift card AND have a bit character named after you in Steven’s story, A Love Surrendered, due out in October. DETAILS ON THE CONTEST TAB OF MY WEBSITE, SO CHECK IT OUT!!

NEW FEATURE ON MY WEBSITE!! I read somewhere (Publisher’s Weekly, I think), where authors need to put excerpts on their websites because it increases sales, but I have been MOST negligent in this, so I have remedied that. I now have a tab on my website called “Excerpts,” where I list my favorite romantic and spiritual scenes from each of my books, including my upcoming novel, A Love Surrendered. So spread the word if you know anyone you think might like my books—just direct them to my Excerpts link for a taste of my writing style, okay? Thank you SO much!!

YEP, THE SALE IS STILL ON … Steven’s story, A Love Surrendered is ON SALE IN PRE-ORDER!!! For a very limited time, you can pre-order A Love Surrendered for only $7.72, which is almost half off, so if you plan to order it, NOW is the time to do it and if you do, PLEASE like the link, okay? Here are the links, but keep in mind that CBD.com’s sale price may not be loaded yet:

Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/isbn=0800734173/bakerbookhouseA

Barnes and Noble:

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/love-surrendered-a-julie-lessman/1108614896?ean=9780800734176&afsrc=1&itm=1&r=1&z=y&

Christianbook.com:

http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/product?isbn=9780800734176&event=AFF&p=1011504

^“Her body tensed beneath his lips

 and he knew this was it—the moment of reckoning.

When Katie would tell him the truth or lie through her teeth.

Taut with both passion and anger, Luke coaxed, trailing her collarbone with kisses

 while toying with the strap of her gown . . .

—A Love Surrendered

Ahhhhhhhhhh … One book down in the “Heart of San Francisco” series, two books to go!! This week I worked on edits for Love at any Cost, and although it wasn’t as nearly as bad as A Love Surrendered when I had to cut 50,000 words, I still had to cut 5,000 words to meet my contracted word count. In order to do so, my editor “suggested” I cut a scene from the subplot of the widowed matriarch (Cait) and her rogue brother-in-law (Logan)—you know the one she was engaged to before he cheated on her and she marries his brother? Well, I love Cait and Logan’s sub plot sooooo much, that I worked like crazy to cut everything but their story, although I did trim the scenes somewhat. So I wasn’t sure if my editor was going to approve, but WHOO-HOO, she did and I got the nod today, telling me the check’s in the mail!! 😉

Ironically, I also received the galleys for A Love Surrendered this week as well, so I jumped on that yesterday after I finished the edits for Love at any Cost, and WOW, am I having a good time or what??? I honestly didn’t think I liked A Love Surrendered as much as the other O’Connor books after I wrote it, but going through the galleys today and yesterday, I am falling in love with this story, which is SUCH a relief! It’s SO much fun sit out on my lower deck (it was in the 70s yesterday!), feet up and hazelnut cinnamon coffee by my side while I edit the galleys, laughing, crying, blowing my nose with all the Kleenexes I’m going through. I’m telling you, this one rips my heart out, but then it’s no secret I’m a weepy type of gal, so maybe it’s just me!

Sooooo … in honor of finishing one book and almost done with the galleys on another, I thought it would be fun to celebrate! To do that, I’m going to introduce a new contest AND give you a brand-new excerpt from A Love Surrendered to whet your appetite like the galleys are whetting mine.

NEW CONTEST TILL MAY 31ST!!! Three chances to win!! Okay, everybody, this is your chance to win a signed copy of any of my books, including A Love Surrendered, a $50 gift card AND have a bit character named after you in Steven’s story, A Love Surrendered, due out in October. DETAILS ON THE CONTEST TAB OF MY WEBSITE, SO CHECK IT OUT!!

And now, one of my favorite love scenes from A Love Surrendered … It’s between Katie and Luke because obviously I can’t have too many “love scenes” between Steven and Annie since they aren’t married, after all. 🙂   Anyway, Luke has just found out that his new (and pretty) intern saw Katie studying with Jack, her old fiancé whom Luke despises, in the Hartford Law Library. Luke is irate, but also guilty because he hasn’t told Katie that he has a new intern with whom he’s been working MANY late hours. In this scene, Luke is coming home to try and coax the truth out of Katie … Hope you enjoy it!

Happy Weekend!

Hugs,

Julie

Opening the door into a dark parlor, Luke tossed his coat over the faded blue armchair rather than the brass coatrack Katie insisted he use, knowing it would ruffle her feathers. He intended to ruffle more than her feathers if she didn’t come clean, explaining just why she was cozying up to Jack. He peered toward their bedroom, where a shaft of light spilled down the dark hall, and then paused to suck in a stabilizing breath. He would give her every opportunity to confess, of course. He didn’t want to go off half-cocked like she would if she found out about Lauren. Besides, working late with an intern to prepare for the biannual board meeting when Bobbie Sue and Gladys were out of commission was a lot different than chumming it up with an old boyfriend.

“Luke—is that you, I hope?” Katie called, her voice groggy, like she’d fallen asleep.

“It better be,” he said, strolling into the bedroom with a wry smile. He sat on the bed to give her a quick kiss before removing his shoes and socks. “Unless maybe you were expecting somebody else?” He rolled the dirty socks in a ball and aimed it at the hamper across the room, where it ricocheted into a corner. Ignoring his faulty throw, he unbuttoned his shirt.

She reached her arms overhead in a lazy stretch and yawned, an open book flat on her lap. “Nope, my boyfriend couldn’t come over tonight, so I figured I’d wait up for you.”

Not funny, Katie Rose.

She delivered a sassy smile, her sleepy blue eyes and mussed blonde hair lending a sweetly seductive look that both annoyed and triggered his pulse at the same time. She leaned to glance at the clock on the nightstand, letting loose a low whistle. “Goodness, McGee, anyone would think you had a girlfriend, working as late as you do.”

Blood gorged his face, prompting him to rip the buttoned shirt right over his head, tie and all, hoping to deflect the heat in his cheeks. Crumpling it, he stood and sailed it and the tie toward the hamper, missing it by a mile.

Katie chuckled. “Gee, you’re zero for two. Hope you’re not losing your touch.”

He turned to face her, not missing the swell of breasts straining her nightgown when she reached to angle the clock. His mouth went dry, reminding him the last thing he wanted to do was to lose his “touch.” “Hope not,” he said with a faint smile, trying not to focus on her gown.

“So . . . are you hungry?” She sat up. “Because I can warm up the stew . . .”

“No.” The late hours he’d worked all week had certainly heightened his appetite . . . but not for food. He studied her while he unbuckled his belt, wishing she didn’t look so darn sexy in his bed when he had a bone to pick. He dropped his trousers and folded them before hanging them in the closet, then slipped into the bathroom to brush his teeth and change into pajama bottoms. Returning, he flipped off the light and crawled into bed, pulling her into his arms as he sucked in a deep breath. With a gentle kiss to her head, he exhaled his stress, praying the encounter with Jack was only by chance. “So . . . how’s Kit?”

She snuggled in, teasing the smooth skin of his chest with soft, little kisses that almost pushed Jack from his mind. Almost. “Well, she learned all her colors this week and drew a picture of you and me under a rainbow with her crayons, so she’s real excited to show it to you.”

He sighed. “I can’t believe she’s going to be three,” he said, grateful Katie had bonded so closely with his adopted daughter. “Seems like she was just a baby.”

“Well, she’s not a baby now,” Katie said with a grunt, “and she’ll spit in your eye if you tell her so. She’s even taken to selecting her own clothes, refusing to wear anything I suggest. Today she wore a striped romper with a plaid blouse. I thought my eyes were going to cross.”

He chuckled, thinking for the hundredth time what a good mother Katie was. He suddenly thought of Jack, and his smile went flat. Now to make sure she remained a good wife . . . “How’s school?”

“Draining, especially the seminar Monday night. I was spent when I finally picked Kit up from Lizzie’s.” She trailed a finger over his bicep and down his arm, slowly circling his palm with her thumb. “I felt like you with all the hours you work. I don’t know how you do it, Luke.” She nuzzled his neck. “When’s the board meeting over again?”

“Three weeks,” he said, his voice a near croak. He forced himself to focus on the problem at hand rather than the thrum of his body. “So . . . other than the seminar Monday night, what have you and Kit been doing with the rest of your evenings?”

Her thumb ceased. “Nothing much, lots of books, games, walks—you know, the usual.”

He paused, fiddling with the strap of her gown. “So you just stayed home all week? Didn’t go anywhere any else, like your parents’ or Lizzie’s?”

Her chest expanded and released with a heavy draw of air before she responded. “Well, I did go out last night,” she said slowly, voice breathless. “Mother watched Kit while I went to the law library.”

The air eased from his lungs. “Alone?”

She hesitated a moment too long. “Yes, of course. Meg couldn’t go.”

“Aw, you hate studying alone.” He massaged her arm. “Run into anybody you know?”

He felt the shift of her throat when she swallowed hard. “Uh . . . yeah.” She rushed to kiss him full on the mouth, swaying her lips against his. “Mmm . . .”

Heat jolted, and he rolled her over, kissing her thoroughly before trailing his lips to her throat. “Who?” he whispered, the scent of her almost making him forget that he cared.

She moaned softly, ignoring his question while she tunneled fingers into his hair. His lips wandered lower. “Who, Katie?” he asked again, and her body went completely still. He looked up, heart thundering. Tell me the truth, Katie—please. “You all right?” he asked quietly.

Her mouth opened and closed as if she wanted to speak, but nothing came out, blue eyes blinking so fast, he thought she might cry. All air wedged in his throat. Please, Katie, don’t lie . . .

“Luke,” she began with a chew of her lip, “you know how I’ve struggled with contract law and you’ve been too busy to help?” She avoided his eyes. “Well, I . . . ,” a shaky breath quivered out, “accepted someone’s offer to tutor.”

He didn’t breathe.

She stared for several seconds, eyes clouded and teeth grating her lip in a way that meant she was weighing her options. Disappointment stabbed when she lunged to take his mouth with hers, pulling him down. “I love you, Luke McGee,” she whispered, “and I missed you so much, it hurt.”

Yeah, I know the feeling. Tempering his frustration, he gently fondled her lips, taking his time with a languid kiss that made her go soft beneath his hold. In a slow and measured tease, he explored her mouth with his own, eliciting a moan deep in her throat when he gently tugged at her lip. “Who?” he whispered again, mouth straying to the lobe of her ear.

“What?” Her eyes were closed and her breathing shallow.

His mouth meandered to the curve of her throat, keeping pace with his hands as they skimmed the curve of her body. “I was wondering who helped you?”

Her body tensed beneath his lips and he knew this was it—the moment of reckoning. When Katie would tell him the truth or lie through her teeth. Taut with both passion and anger, Luke coaxed, trailing her collarbone with kisses while toying with the strap of her gown . . .

She shuddered beneath his lips, voice barely audible and as soft as a guilty thought. “Jack.”

His lips stilled on her skin. The lids of his eyes weighted down with relief before heat surged that had nothing to do with the lure of his wife’s body. “Jack?” he rasped, the word more of a hiss than a name. He jerked to a sitting position, shocked at the venom that flowed in his veins. “You asked Jack to tutor you?” He pierced her with a gaze that made her squirm.

Wincing, she shot up, hand clutched to his arm. “But you told me to get help . . .”

His mouth went slack. “From your teachers, Katie Rose,” he ground out, “not your former fiancé.” He slashed taut fingers through his hair, feeling the tug of the couch. “Oh, I’ll just bet old Jack is flying high over this one, worming his way back in.”

“He is not worming his way back in, Luke, he’s helping an old friend.” Her eyes sparked, matching a tone way less conciliatory than before. “Because,” she said with tight emphasis, “her lawyer husband can’t find the time to come home, I might add, much less tutor his wife.”

He leaned in, lips compressed along with his jaw. “Yeah, well, I work for a living, Katie Rose, which, I might add,” he said, mimicking her words, “apparently allows my wife the time and luxury to dally with her old boyfriend.”

“Dally?” she breathed, all color blanching from her face. Her petite body rose up several inches to slant in, meeting him nose to nose. “My GPA in contract law has gone from near-failing to dean’s list, you Neanderthal, and no thanks to you.”

She may as well have bopped him with his own club—heat blasted his face. Translation: My old boyfriend was there when my husband wasn’t. He swallowed hard, guilt the perfect stabilizer for jealousy. “You’re on the dean’s list?” he said quietly, pride battling the angst in his gut.

The jut of her lip softened, catching his eye, stirring his pulse. She folded her arms with a grunt. “Yeah, well, I guess all that ‘dallying’ must have paid off.”

He exhaled heavily, hands mauling his face before they dropped to the bed where his fingers strayed to circle her thigh. “I’m proud of you, Sass,” he whispered, “really I am, and I apologize for not being here when you needed me.” Cupping her face, he bent to brush a tender kiss to her lips, then pulled away, eyes locking with hers. “But I have a right to know, Katie—did you ask him, or did he offer? And where and how long has this been going on?”

She stared at her fingers, now laced with his. “Four months,” she whispered, muscles tugging in her throat. “At the law library. I ran in to him one day and he offered to help.”

“Oh, I just bet he did.” His fingers nudged her chin till her gaze connected with his. “Four months?” he repeated. “You’ve been meeting with that clown for a whole semester?” He expelled a noisy breath, torn between kissing her senseless or shaking her silly. He opted for the first and pushed her to the pillow hard, descending with a kiss meant to restake his claim. “Never again, Katie Rose,” he whispered when he finally came up for air. “Jack is out of our lives for good, is that clear? No tutoring, studying, or dallying of any kind beyond hello and goodbye. The next time you need help, you come to me, no matter how busy I am, understood?”

She nodded, eyes glazed and chest pumping. Her gaze strayed to his mouth, and his blood heated by several degrees, but he restrained himself to drive the point home. “It’s just not smart, Katie, for a married woman to spend time alone with a man unless he’s the dean, a blood relative, or a priest.”

Or an intern? The thought singed the back of his neck, setting his jaw. Lauren’s different, he argued in his mind, an employee and nothing more. And hired by Carmichael, not me.

A soft smile tilted her beautiful lips. “You’re right, and you have my word—I’ll never spend time with Jack again.” Her eyelids lowered to half mast, delivering a smoky look that tingled all the way to his toes. She licked her lips, mouth parted and words breathy. “I’m sorry, Luke, I know how I’d feel if you did that to me …”

He swallowed hard.

Issuing a seductive smile, she trailed fingers down his bare chest. “From now on, you’re the only tutor I need.” She tugged him down until his mouth mated with hers. “But it’s only fair to warn you, Mr. McGee,” she said, breathless against his skin, “with extra classes this summer, I may need a whole lot of work.”

He descended, settling in with a broad grin. “No problem, Sass,” he whispered, his mouth playing with hers. “You can depend on me to work you hard till you shine. But just to make sure . . .” Lips skimming her jaw, he eased his way down, dislodging the strap of her gown with his teeth. “We better begin tonight . . .”