Journal Jots – Blog

The joy of the Lord is your strength.”

—Nehemiah 8:10

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God …

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths,

but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs,

that it may benefit those who listen. 

—Ephesians 4:29-30

Have you ever had to “eat your words”?  Trust me, I have, and let me tell you, it leaves a bad taste in your mouth. Oh, yeah, I joked about eating words in A Passion Denied through the humor of one of my favorite O’Connors—Charity—in the following clip:

      Katie began tapping on the piece of paper, intent on beating Collin at a new game of Connect-The-Dots. “I say forget him, Lizzie. Boys are saps.”

      “Hey, who you calling ‘saps’?” Collin shot her a narrow look. “I don’t see any females playing word games with you. Besides, you’re only ten. What do you know?”

      “Eleven in a few weeks. And enough to know I’ll never let some sap boy steal my heart like Lizzie has, even if it is Brady.”

      “You’ll eat those words someday, Katie Rose,” Collin said, tweaking the long, blond pigtail trailing her shoulder.

      Katie scrunched a freckled nose. “Everybody knows you can’t eat words.”

      “Oh, yes you can,” Charity quipped. “Just ask Mitch.”

Sigh. Poor Mitch—Charity definitely gives him a run for his money in the O’Connor saga, doesn’t she? And I’m pretttttty sure those words he had to eat didn’t taste very good, either, just like some of the words I’ve had to eat in my life. Because the truth is—as our Scripture quote so wisely pointed out last week—“gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.” But the bad ones that grieve the Holy Spirit? Uh, not so much … 

Those of you who know me or have read any of my interviews know that I’m a pretty honest, out-there kind of person, what you read is what you get. And I write reallllly long books, which should give you another clue as to how much I can talk. But shooting one’s mouth off can be pretty dangerous, because as Proverbs 21:23 says, “Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity.”

Ouch.

So, where am I going with this? Well, as some of you know, I have been reading Joyce Meyer’s EXCELLENT book (I highly recommend it!!), Change Your Words, Change Your Life, and a few days ago I read something that was an absolute one-two punch. She said, “Satan wants to steal our joy so he can steal our strength,” which is in direct reference to one of our Scriptures above, “The joy of the Lord is our strength.” Then she follows that up with the 2nd Scripture above about “grieving the Holy Spirit with unwholesome talk,” which steals our joy just like a child can “steal the joy” of a parent by saying something sassy or rebellious or hurtful. Did you catch that? Steal joy = steal strength.

Wait a minute—let me pick myself up off the floor. The very words I speak affect my joy? Which then affects my strength?? So when trials come and I need God’s strength MORE than ever, if Satan can get me to grieve the Holy Spirit with negative speech such as “this situation is a nightmare,” or “I’m an idiot,” or “I hate this job,” etc., then he weakens me? Which, in turn, weakens my faith and steers the already negative situation into more negativity?

YIKES!!

A master plan by the devil if ever there was!

Which means that from now on, I’m cracking down on my words as much as possible. Yep, you heard me—cracking down on complaining, murmuring, gossiping, bragging, questionable remarks, white lies, exaggerations, seemingly innocent expressions like “this day is a nightmare” or “I am such an idiot”—NOTHING that would grieve the Holy Spirit. Because frankly, I need ALL the strength I can get and I don’t want my words foolin’ around with my joy either.

That said … let me just say that this was a “challenging” week, not an awful one. That huge mistake that made me cry is an “opportunity” for God’s power to be revealed, not a disaster. And those extra deep lines under my eyes are “character” lines, not old age.

Mmm … challenge, opportunity, character. All in all, a pretty darn good week!!

ST. PAT’S DAY SALE ON A LIGHT IN THE WINDOW THREE DAYS ONLY, MARCH 15, 16 & 17!!

This is it!! Mark your calendars for next weekend, MARCH 15, 16 & 17, which is your chance to download Marcy and Patrick O’Connor’s prequel love story A Light in the Window for the lowest price yet—only $ .99!!

This book is near and dear to my heart, not only because I feel so personally connected to Marcy and Patrick (whose marriage is based on my own), but because my artist hubby designed the cover and my daughter was the model. So I would really like to share this beautiful story with those of you who have not read it, and this will be your chance for the lowest price ever, so mark your calendars!

BOOK GIVEAWAYS!!

MARCH 6-13, 2013:  Join me at Tamera Kraft’s “Word Sharpeners” blog for my article entitled “The Good, the Bad, and the Really Ugly: Memories of a Published Writer” and giveaway of choice of my books. Here’s the link and hope to see you there:

http://wordsharpeners.wordpress.com/2013/03/05/julie-lessman-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly-free-book-giveaway/

MARCH 10-17, 2013:  Join me at Relz Reviews for a character spotlight on Marcy and Patrick O’Connor from A Light in the Window and giveaway of choice of my books. Here’s the link and hope to see you there:

http://relzreviewz.com/character-spotlight-julie-lessmans-marceline-patrick-sam-with-a-giveaway/

MARCH 13, 2013:  Join me at Seekerville where you’ll have an opportunity to win your choice of my books including my upcoming release, Love at Any Cost. Here’s the link and hope to see you there:

http://seekerville.blogspot.com/

Here’s to a JOYFUL and STRONG weekend!!

Hugs,

Julie

Gracious words are like a honeycomb,

sweetness to the soul and health to the body.

— Proverbs 16:24

Okay, okay, I’ll admit it—I LOVE honey butter and honey on biscuits, sticky or no, so I was thrilled to learn that honey has a long medicinal history all the way back to the ancient Egyptians, who used it as a dressing for wounds. Today, honey is touted for its antibacterial and anti-inflammatory properties and is considered by holistic practitioners as one of nature’s best all-around remedies. So it doesn’t surprise me at all that the Bible gives us a heads-up on this with today’s Scripture quote.

But what really struck me about today’s quote is the reference to our words being like honey. You see, I am currently reading Joyce Meyer’s latest book called Change Your Words, Change Your Life (awesome book, by the way!), so I am learning just how much power our words have for good or bad, a fact confirmed by tons of Scriptures in the Bible on the tongue and our words.

The first example that came to mind for me was something one of my sweet sisters said to me years ago that has stayed with me forever. Sadly, the reason it came to mind is that this particular sister passed away this week, shocking each of my family members even though we knew she had been ill with Parkinsons. Pat was an amazing woman and sister who continually lifted people up with her words, a living example of the Scripture above in so many people’s lives, including mine. She is greatly loved and will be missed by so very many.

One of my favorite stories about Pat and her “gracious words” (see pic to right of my sisters and two SILs, all wearing saris brought back from Indonesia from another sister, and Pat is in blue and gold sari in back row) happened way back when Keith and I were newlyweds who had just bought a house in “the country.” It was nice enough house for newlyweds on ¾ of an acre, but the wooded backyard of that property butted to the street, which I really didn’t care for. And having been a St. Louis county girl all my life (think “city girl”), I wasn’t overly fond of the rural county to which we moved. 

I will never forget the week my sister Pat came from California for a visit. A former nun, Pat was a go-getter of the 1^st degree, into healthy eating and walks and exploring one’s environs. So one day, the two of us are taking a walk, and mentally I’m seeing everything wrong with the neighborhood—patched asphalt streets, odd-shaped homes, weedy lots, a rural hodge-podge of everyone building their own idea of a house.

“Oh, what a gorgeous neighborhood,” Pat breathed, almost a hint of awe in her tone. “You must absolutely love it here!” I still remember turning to look at her as if she had just made a joke, waiting for her snickers to follow. Instead, the woman was staring around like Alice in Wonderland, lips parted in wonder while her eyes scanned the street and yards as if she were Dorothy on a week-long jaunt to Oz. Her pace actually slowed to a crawl so that she could take in all the “wonder.”

“Wonder”? I thought—uh, where? “Just look at all these beautiful trees,” she remarked, “oaks and ash and birch, canopies of green shading the yards and street. And that darling rock creek over there?” She sighed with contentment. “Absolutely beautiful!” 

I still remember blinking several times in total shock, as if to clear my eyes to see what she saw. “Do you have any idea how lucky you are to live in such a lush and rustic neighborhood?” she asked.

Uh, no?

She continued on, not even aware of the gape of my jaw, her voice bubbling on and on like that silly rock creek, saying how each of the homes were so unique and charming, like an upscale Mayberry where children play and neighbors chat. 

And then—in the middle of a hot asphalt road—the most amazing thing happened! I blinked a few more times and it was as if my neighborhood came into focus for the very first time. I started seeing it through my sister’s eyes instead of my own, and OH MY GOODNESS, I saw it—all of it—the charm, the grace, the meandering beauty!! Even now tears sting my eyes over the gift my sister gave me that day—‘gracious words’ that helped me see things through the eyes of gratitude rather than complaint, changing my perspective forever. I will never, ever forget the service Pat did for me that day … and as God is my witness—I will never, ever forget one of the most remarkable sisters a woman ever had.

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.

— Proverbs 24:11.

I wish you a blessed weekend and may each and every word we speak be as apples of gold, bearing much friend in our lives and in the lives of others. 

Hugs,

Julie

CALLING ALL WRITERS … SPEEDBO IS HERE!!!

Like book-in-a-month, Speedbo (Speedbook) in its purest form is a 31 day self-challenge where the writer puts aside the inner critic and produces manuscript pages with the ultimate goal of completing an entire book.

Speedbo Guidelines: Daily, weekly, monthly writing goals are maintained by the individual writer. You may share or not. Your choice.

Check in is not required, but only those who comment will be entered into the weekly drawings.  All the action is on the Seekerville blog. One easy location. No fees required.

Don’t rule out Speedbo because you can’t write nonstop for 31 days.Consider doing the Speedbo that fits your lifestyle:

• Become a weekend warrior for five weekends.
• Give up evening television for a month to write. 
• Get a babysitter Saturday afternoons for a month so you can write. 
• Get up one hour earlier for a month so you can write. 
• Write during your lunch hour at work for a month.
• Writing, or revising? We don’t care.
• Fiction,or  non-fiction? Your call.
• No rules Just write.

Whatever you do, stretch yourself. Get out of your comfort zone. 

Besides the satisfaction of a job well done Seekerville is also offering writing prizes for five straight weeks where you’ll have the opportunity to win one of the following:

• BOOKS GALORE!!
• First-chapter critique -up to 20 pages
• First-5-pages critique
• One-page synopsis critique
• Phone chat with multi-pubbed author
• First-page hook critique

All you have to do is comment! Additionally, the Yankee-Belle Cafe is gearing up to bring you easy recipes for the month of March, so check out the following link by clicking on the box below and GET STARTED!!

“One does not fall “in” or “out” of love.

One grows in love.”

— Leo Buscaglia

“We can only learn to love by loving.”

— Iris Murdoch

This year my husband and I will be married 35 years and I gotta tell you—never once in that first rocky year did I think we would end up where we are today.

Head over heels in love.

I mean, yes, that’s supposed to happen in the beginning, right? The honeymoon stage where he holds your hand in the car and he always has that glazed look in his eye before he kisses you? But 35 years down the road? Who would have thunk? 

Well, certainly not me. Not with the number of times I had to pick his clothes up off the floor that somehow always ended up at the base of the hamper rather than in it. Or definitely not when he was snoring like a freight train, robbing me of sleep. 

Let’s face it—things like fatigue and finances and kids have a way of sucking all the romance from a marriage faster than a baby can soil a freshly changed diaper. Life more often than not takes the shine off of that diamond on your finger along with the marriage itself. So, what’s a girl to do? And what one major piece of advice do I give when asked how to keep my marriage the best it can be?? 

Pray. 

Yeah, yeah, I know—many of us “prayed” for the right spouse and for the perfect wedding and for kids, but how many of us think about praying on an ongoing basis? Not to ask God to bless our spouse or our finances or our kids, although those things are certainly important. But to pray to LOVE our spouses the way that God wants us to. PRAY to be attracted to them on a daily basis. PRAY to be able to focus on their strengths rather than their weaknesses. 

My husband is three years, three months younger than me, so when I got married at 28, he was only 25 and moved straight from his sister’s house to my apartment after we got married. Mind you, I had been supporting myself for five years while his total financial obligation had been a car payment. During that first year, he suddenly went from this handsome hunk that every girl ogled to a man who had no financial history and one I wasn’t sure could even support me. My respect began to erode and with it, my attraction for him. I still remember the shock waves that rippled through me when I realized what was happening. As a very strong Christian at the time, I knew I only had one recourse:

Pray. 

So I did. I prayed that God would help me to love my husband the way God wanted me to. I prayed that God would help me be attracted to him more and more rather than less and less. I prayed that my respect for him would grow rather than diminish. 

And guess what? God answered those prayers … not only in that first year, but every year after that because praying for one’s marriage is not only a life-long commitment, but an absolute necessity. Because the truth is as Leo Buscaglia said in today’s quote—”one does not fall “in” or “out” of love. One grows in love.” As Iris Murdoch also said, “We can only learn to love by loving.” And as Christians, the truth is we can only learn to love with God’s help. By asking Him on a daily basis to help us be the wife He wants us to be. 

Last weekend we helped my daughter move into her new apartment and after we had carried box after box up two flights of stairs and a steep hill to boot, my husband took a breather on the couch while the cable guy was installing Internet. On my way through the living room to the bathroom, I stopped in front of my hubby, knees butted to his and leaned over to give him a nice long, tender kiss that went on for several seconds. It wasn’t a drive-by kiss, no peck on the cheek  for me. It was a soul-deep, “I love you more than anything in this world” kiss that had more passion and love in it than any teenager or movie could depict. He kissed me back and I gave a smile before I headed to the bathroom. 

Keith told me later that after I left, the cable guy looked up and said, “Are you two married?” And Keith laughed and said, “yeah, almost 35 years.” “And you two still kiss like that?” he asked, almost flabbergasted. “Yeah—we have a fabulous marriage. The guy responded with something like, “Wow, I sure hope my marriage ends up like.” 

And you know what? I believe in most cases—through prayer and application of God’s precepts—it can. I’m not talking about marriages with abuse or adultery or seriously bad problems, although I truly believe God is capable of transforming any marriage. But I’m talking about a good, solid marriage that just doesn’t seem as exciting as it did in that honeymoon stage. I am living proof that good marriages can become great marriages with all the bells and whistles that those young whippersnapper heroes and heroines experience in romance novels. That’s why I wrote Marcy and Patrick O’Connor into my series as a secondary love story because it is possible to have that kind of marriage. Marcy and Patrick’s marriage is based on Keith’s and mine,  and quite frankly, I don’t think I lucked out and fell in to a good thing (well, yes I do!), but the bulk of blessing I have experienced in my marriage is through prayer and application of God’s precepts. It takes time, yes, and lots and lots of effort and prayer. But trust me—it is OH, SO worth it!!

(NOTE: Don’t miss the P.S. at the bottom of this post!!)

So … don’t forget … #1 advice for marriages or romance: Pray and Follow God’s precepts best you can.

AND … DON’T FORGET — FREE DOWNLOAD!!!  As some of you know, A Hope Undaunted, book 1 in the “Winds of Change” series is now available for free download on Amazon, B&N, and CBD, so I am asking all my reader friends to spread the word via e-mail or FB or Twitter or Pinterest or whatever means possible. ALSO … ALL of my O’Connor saga books (except the last one, A Love Surrendered) are ON SALE for $5.38 or $5.79, so TAKE ADVANTAGE!!

HALF-PRICE SALE!!! And in honor of Valentine’s month, my Irish love story, A Light in the Window, has been reduced by almost half, now available for $3.99 for a limited time only, so if you haven’t had the chance to read Marcy and Patrick’s prequel love story, this is a great opportunity!! Here are the links:  Amazon and B&N. 

Happy Weekend!! 

Hugs,

Julie

AMAZING P.S. Okay, I am crying right now because not 20 minutes after I wrote this blog, I received an e-mail from a reader friend who had not read this blog, mind you, but essentially confirmed it with her beautiful e-mail. She has graciously allowed me to share that e-mail with you, so here it is:

“Julie, I want to share with you that I LOVE your books.  I feel I have been divinely impacted by what I have read.  I will try to describe as briefly as possible how your books have changed me.  In the past several months I have struggled with depression, but reading has been my escape.  I picked up your 4th book in the O’Connor series.  Really enjoyed it, so decided to start at the beginning. It was the 3rd book,  A Passion Denied that “hit me between the eyes” so to speak. I felt God speaking to me from John Brady’s side. That may sound strange. But I have had a past that I was so ashamed of, poor choices, etc.  Many years ago I came back to Christ, and knew I was forgiven, and felt that blessing.  But when I married my husband somehow I began to feel I couldn’t enjoy our private life, that if I did it was somehow wrong, dirty.  Again I know that sounds crazy, but now I realize that is was from the devil. It has gone on for 15 years, but I am convicted to pray! Pray to release that guilt, begin to love my husband, and work to enjoy our relationship.  I just say thank you. Thank you for being an instrument of God. I hope this makes some sense… Thank you and Bless you!

WOW!! In the face of 1-star reviews and lackluster sales at times, THIS is the reason I write, to share the lessons I’ve learned the hard way and to convince women just how very much God loves them and wants the best for them in their lives and in their marriages. Thank you to this precious reader friend for making my day.