Journal Jots – Blog

Never had he seen such warmth and tenderness between two people married for such a long period of time. It seemed as if the entire family thrived in the glow that surrounded these two people, spilling onto each as naturally as rain unto the earth.

— A Passion Most Pure

 With the passing of my mother-in-law last week, family came into focus more clearly than ever before. You see, I grew up in a very dysfunctional family of 13 kids, where there wasn’t the warmth and closeness that I craved, and certainly not the warmth and closesness I experience in my husband’s family. It wasn’t until I met Jesus Christ in a personal, intimate way at the age of 23 than I began to finally understand that the magic of family I longed for doesn’t just happen — it begins with each of us.

Looking back, I can see that my parents loved each other deeply, but it was a volatile relationship at best. I can’t tell you how many nights my sisters and brothers and I stood barefoot and shivering out at the edge of the street while my parents fought inside the house. This fractured love relationship was so traumatic to me that I began to have a recurring nightmare once a year on a Saturday night, and I always knew when it was coming. The first time I had it, I was so terrorized that I jolted up in bed at the age of 10 and bolted downstairs in my nightgown, screaming at the top of my lungs. I don’t remember much more than I tore through the house and out into the yard where I vaulted a chain-link fence before sprinting into a field beyond as if the very devil were on my heels.

And I honestly felt as if he was.

This went on year after year, and I would shiver deep in my bones whenever that annual Saturday night rolled around, knowing way, way down in my soul that tonight was the night it would happen again. And you know what the dream was? It was my mom and dad fighting on either side of their bed, which somehow kept getting bigger and smaller, bigger and smaller, as if the force of their argument created a tug-of-war. Don’t ask me how I knew, but somehow I sensed that bed represented my oldest sister Essie, who also was deeply traumatized by Mom and Daddy’s ambivalent relationship. She died in her mid-twenties.

You see, I LONGED for a family like the O’Connors in my novels, but I never had that growing up. Not until I did things God’s way, that is. The first command God gave me after I became born again at the age of 23 was to love my father.

NO WAY, I argued, telling God that my father had beat us and emotionally abused us and was largely responsible for my low self-esteem. For goodness sake, this was the man who attacked me, then kicked me out of the house in the middle of the night when I was barely 21, with no place to go.

“You can’t call yourself mine until you learn to love others,” Jesus whispered in my spirit, and I knew He was right. I sucked in a deep breath, said my prayers, and went to work. I was single at the time, so I’d make a pot of beef stew (my dad’s favorite) and take it to him on a weekend night. Now, please understand that my father was a brusque, unemotional man (I know, I know — where DID I get it from???) who would only talk during commercials. So we would sit there in silence, watching Perry Mason or Carol Burnett on TV, exchanging only a few words during commercials. This went on for months and months, the evenings always ending with me telling Daddy that I loved him and giving him an awkward hug while he stood there stiffly, not responding at all.

And then one night, it happened. He walked me to the door as usual, and I went to hug him. “I love you, Daddy,” I whispered, because it was true — my obedience to God had merged with my prayers and God’s grace to forge God’s own love deep inside my heart, a holy love for this man who had seldom shown me any love at all.

Never will I forget his shaky touch as his arms slowly embraced me, the ragged sound of his voice rasping against my ear. “I love you too,” he said, words that changed my life forever. That night my heart went from an orphan’s heart to a daughter’s, and one who was eventually loved, respected, and blessed by her father.

Just like with God.

That was the very first lesson God ever taught me — that true family begins with obedience to Him, laying our wills down for His — and for the people closest to us who so desperately need to feel His love. We are God’s conduit, whether it be to a husband, a wife, a child, or as in my case, a parent. “If you love Me, obey my commandments.” — John 14:15. Oh, YES, YES, YES!! Because obedience = love. And love heals, helping a family to be all that God always meant it to be.

And that’s how I wrote the O’Connors — parents and siblings and eventually spouses who learn that not only is obedience to God key in family, but that love and passion thrives when He is smack dab in the middle. And for those of you who may doubt that this is possible, please know that I come by this knowledge honestly. My God has given me a family and a marriage (Marcy and Patrick’s marriage is based on Keith’s and mine) that is “abundantly, exceedingly more than I hoped, thought, or prayed” — Ephesians 3:20-21), and He can do the same for you — be it with family, marriage, relationships or in your life as a whole.

So in honor of “family,” I give you the O’Connors, as seen through the eyes of a precious reader friend by the name of Salyna (check out her wonderful Kissed Books Blog), who SO loved the O’Connors that she actually took the time to put celebrity montages together. They blessed the socks off of me, so I hope they do the same to you. This week I will post the montages for the O’Connor family and those from the Daughters of Boston series, and next week, the montages for the Winds of Change series. Thank you SO much, Salyna, for making me smile — these are wonderful!

And if you want to see Salyna’s OTHER two choices for John Brady, hop on over to her blog at Kissed Books to check it out (it will be posted sometime today, Friday) and leave a comment as to your favorite of the three.

Hugs and Happy Weekend,

Julie

“Sometimes I feel like a bluebird

while everyone else is a yellow bird.”

— Matthew Lessman, age 5

Have you ever loved someone who accepted you just as you are? You know, someone who would smile over your idiosyncrasies and failings instead of shake their head and roll their eyes?

Hopefully each of us has, but even in families, it can be a rare thing. Or at least it was for me. You see, I was one of those skinny, nervous, little kids who was SO darn easy to pick on because I was such a wired drama queen. My family used to call me “a walking nervous breakdown,” teasing unmercifully just to get a rise out of me, which, of course, they always did. I realize now that it was because I had so much energy and, well … passion. But I won’t lie to you—it hurts to be made fun of.

A lot. 

So years ago when my son came home from kindergarten crying, I was devastated. “Bud,” I said in a gentle tone, “what’s wrong?” 

“Nobody likes me, Mom,” he whispered, lower lip quivering and tears welling in his eyes. “I don’t have any friends.” 

Memories of my own grade-school experience stabbed, when I’d been ostracized and ridiculed for having psoriasis in the 2nd grade. “Are you sure it’s not leprosy?” the old nun had asked in front of my whole class, sealing my fate on the playground. “Oh, bud,” I said, scooping him up in my arms, “it just takes time to make friends, but it will happen, you’ll see.”

“No, mom,” he said in a broken, little voice, “nobody will play with me.” His little chest heaved with a sob as I held him in my arms. “Sometimes I feel like a bluebird,” he whispered, “while everyone else is a yellow bird.” 

I prayed with him that day, but my heart broke all the same, and you know what? So did God’s. Because we are the apple of His eye, the pulse of His heart, and His cherished creation. 

So when you meet someone in life who looks past all the weird things you do and smiles at your oddities with affection, it’s almost like a hug from God, as if His love and pride for you is being transmitted through this gift of a person who loves you …  just the way you are.

Truly I am a blessed woman because I have been gifted with a husband like that and doubly blessed with a mother-in-law who was the exact same way.  I say “was” because you, see, my sweet mother-in-law went home to be with Jesus yesterday morning at the age of 89, and not only have I lost a “mother,” but a beautiful person who embraced me as a daughter, making this bluebird feel loved and accepted no matter how quirky or crazy I might be. 

And not just me, but everyone in her family, as evidenced by the 3-day, around-the-clock bedside vigil in which her sons and sons-in-law, daughters and daughter-in-law, grandchildren and great grandchildren crowded into a small, little house for three days and nights, sleeping side-by-side on the living room floor, on couches, love seats and in rocker recliners. As my sister-in-law, Mary, so aptly put it, “It was the best worst week of my life.” We cried, we laughed, we prayed, and we ate. And ate. And ate. Someone was with my mother-in-law at all times and sometimes as many as 14 of us crammed into that tiny room all at the same time, showing our love and support for a woman who never ceased showing the same to us. 

Until now. And yet, somehow knowing the caliber of woman, wife, mother, mother-in-law, grandmother that Leona Lessman was, I suspect she is loving and supporting us still, only this time from above.

But I won’t lie to you—it hurts to lose her. 

A lot.

So, Leona, please know that you are deeply and powerfully loved and missed by all—bluebirds and yellow birds and family members big and small. Life will not be the same without you, but oh, our reunion in heaven will be a joy! As I’m sure your reunion with the love of your life is right now. Give Ray a hug for me and tell him Keith and “Judy” miss him a lot.

Love,

Julie

In Loving Memory:

Leona Lessman

October 2, 1923 – August 9, 2013

Till we can hug you again on streets of gold …

YEE-HAW … we have WINNERS

  in the “Fall in Love … Texas Style” Contest!!

WHEW!!! What a FUN ten days Becky Wade and I had with our Texas contest, and we hope you did too!!

A big hats off to each and every one of you who participated, and we sure wish everybody could win.

BUT … regrettably, we only had four prizes for Rafflecopter to pick, so without further ado, here are our esteemed winners!!

1st Place, Kindle Fire loaded with Becky’s book and mine:

Linda Marie Finn

2nd Place, Texas Gift Basket with Becky’s book and mine:

Rochelle Saldana

3rd and 4th Places for Book Bundles of Becky’s book and mine:

Amy Etner
Ronya Ervin

SUPER CONGRATS TO ALL THE WINNERS AND BIG TEXAS-STYLE HUGS TO EVERY ONE ELSE FOR ENTERING!!

BUT GUESS WHAT?? I have something REALLLLLLLY fun for you today, WHICH includes a chance to win your choice of any of my ebooks from the “Daughters of Boston” or “Winds of Change” series OR A Light in the Window!

An incredibly talented and sweet reader friend of mine, Salyna, recently sent me celebrity montages for EACH of my books depicting the characters. I fell in love with all of them but Katie and Luke’s (Salyna and I respectfully disagree on Luke’s celebrity look-alike), and TALK ABOUT FUN!!

Salyna has agreed to let me post one montage each week on my Journal Jots blog, so I hope you check back in the weeks ahead to see these true works of art!! 🙂

But TODAY, Friday, August 2 through next Thursday, August 8, she is featuring pics for Faith and Collin from A Passion Most Pure (not the montage she sent me, mind you, but her pics).

So …  I hope you will bounce on over there just to leave a YAY or a NAY on her choices and your own celebrity choices for Faith and Collin if you have them. Just one comment enters you into the contest for your choice of my O’Connor e-books and there are even bonus points you can easily accrue. And because this is a last-minute, unadvertised giveaway, odds for a win are good since the number of comments will probably be low.

Here’s the link to Miss Salyna’s wonderful blog entitled “Kissed Books” — do pop in and say “hey,” okay?  KISSED BOOKS BLOG GIVEAWAY

20-AUTHOR GIVEAWAY THROUGH AUG.18!

Join me and nineteen other authors on Soul Inspirationz blog for a book givaway extravaganza!! Just click on the “Featured Author Interview” link below each of the author’s pic to enter their particular contest. At Julie’s Interview Link you can win your choice of Julie’s books including her January release of Dare to Love Again or a signed spiral-bound printed copy of A Light in the Window, so GOOD LUCK!!

CALLING ALL WRITERS!! 

Be sure to check out my recent Seeker blog entitled “LIGHT-BULB MOMENTS: Illuminating the Path to Publication and Beyond.”  The giveaway is over, but the writer’s tips are still worth checking out!

HAPPY WEEKEND AND HAPPY READING!

HUGS,

Julie