Journal Jots – Blog

“Katie,” she whispered, “you say He’s not real to you,

that you’re not sure He even exists. But right this minute,

one of us is right and one of us is wrong.”

—Faith O’Connor from A Hope Undaunted

Okay, I’m gonna let you in on a little secret. Yes, I’m a fiction writer, but as with all fiction writers, much of what I write about is drawn from personal experience. Be it a spiritual lesson I’ve learned, an emotional lesson, or actual events or scenarios from my own life, I often—frequently, in fact—force my characters to travel the same road.

So, I thought it might be fun to give you a peek into the stories behind the stories for various scenes from my books, and to begin, I’ll start with my favorite of all the books I’ve written, A Hope Undaunted, which is Katie O’Connor’s story.

Out of all the O’Connors, Katie is the least spiritual, and, in fact, is not even sure she believes in God. In the following scene, Katie’s sister Faith talks to her about God, making a statement that I myself made some 36 years to a coworker who was an atheist.

One night after work, the two of us were shooting the breeze in her office, chatting about any and everything. The subject of God came up and I remember how shocked I was to learn that this girl who I considered a friend did not believe in God.  I tried to witness to her, of course, but she simply sat there with a patient smile on her face, certain she was correct in her assumption.

My heart ached for her, and so with a silent prayer, I proceeded to tell her exactly what Faith O’Connor tells her sister Katie in the following scene. The scene in A Hope Undaunted ends with Katie’s conversion. Unfortunately, the actual scene with my coworker did not and months later, I quit my job to stay home with my new baby and never worked with this girl again. But … the good news is that I received a letter from this same coworker ame some 30 years later, telling me how much she loved my books and the inspirational message they carried. And although she never came out and told me she now believed in God, somehow I knew in my spirit that she did and deep down I know that those precious words the Holy Spirit gave me that night helped to sow seeds in my friend’s life. I like to think that that encounter and the many prayers I said for her thereafter helped to bring one of God’s lost sheep back home to the Good Shepherd, and every single time I read the scene below, I smile.

It’s moments like that in my life that I SO love incorporating into my novels, helping them, I pray, to become so much more than just fiction.

Have a blessed weekend, and I hope the background for this excerpt helps you to enjoy it all the more.

Hugs,

Julie

Faith grabbed her hand and held on tight. “Katie, I’m so sorry. But all the more reason to cling to God, because you have nothing to lose right now and everything to gain.”

Katie pulled her hand away and closed her eyes, her voice dead. “I don’t know, Faith. I know God is real to you, but to me, it’s always been more of a fairy tale. You have faith in Him, but I don’t. Sometimes I even wonder if I believe in Him at all. I pray, but I feel like He doesn’t hear my prayers, like they’re long-distance and lost in the shuffle. I don’t feel any closeness with Him, any desire to pursue Him.” Her shoulders slumped forward, weighted with despair. “I guess the bottom line is . . . ,” a knot shifted in her throat, “I’m not sure He even exists.”

Her sister’s tone was gentle. “It doesn’t matter, Katie, not one little bit. All you have to do is ask Him to reveal himself to you, to prove that He’s real and that He loves you and has a plan for your life. Just the frail consent of your will to invite Him into your heart is all it takes. And you can have a living, breathing relationship with the God of the universe, overflowing with a love and passion as real as anything you ever felt for Luke. Go ahead, Katie, do it! And if you do, you have my word—your life will never be the same.”

Katie’s eyes widened as she stared, her sister’s gaze aglow like a beacon of hope. She swallowed hard, knowing full well that no matter any storms in her life, this was the sister who carried a reservoir of peace wherever she went. The sister who had scaled every mountain, weathered every storm with her resilient faith in God. Katie blinked. Could it actually be real?

As if she sensed the shift in Katie’s thinking, Faith placed a palm on top of Katie’s hand, warm and stable, cupping it, shielding it, like an anchor of hope in this storm of her soul. “Katie,” she whispered, “you say He’s not real to you, that you’re not sure He even exists. But right this minute, one of us is right and one of us is wrong.”

Katie looked into her sister’s face, as if compelled to listen by some strange force that pulled at her with a tentative thread of hope.

Wetness shimmered in Faith’s eyes. “If it’s me who is wrong, then I have lost nothing. Because even if I have believed in a lie or a fairy tale, then that lie or fairy tale has given me more joy, more hope, and more strength than anything I have ever encountered. But if it is you who is wrong, Katie, I tremble to think that you will have lost everything—His joy, His peace, His hope . . .” Her voice softened to a bare whisper. “His salvation.” She straightened then, her manner as sure as the conviction in her tone. “I repeat, Katie, one of us is right and one of us is wrong. Do it now, I beg of you—invite Him into your heart. Because truly, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.”

Katie stared while seconds ticked by like heartbeats, thundering increments of time in a reality she could feel, see, touch. She was a realist, a woman bent on the law, with a penchant for facts, statistics, and tangible proof. How could she lay all of that down to embrace an intangible God? A God her family had embraced all of their lives, depended on, lived for . . . while she herself had stood in the wings, master of her own future. She closed her eyes, grief piercing anew. A future that now lay in shambles at her feet. She swallowed the pride in her throat. Nothing to lose . . .

And then out of nowhere, Emma’s words that day in the store haunted her thoughts, and in a catch of her breath, Katie’s heart began to race.

“Whatever your hurts or fears or scars, Katie—call on Him. He’s waiting to love you like you’ve never been loved before.”

“I don’t know, Emma, it all sounds wonderful, but God . . . prayer, well, I’m just not sure that it’s real.”

“I understand, but hear me, please . . . you won’t know till you try . . .”

Till I try . . . Katie’s breathing accelerated, and all at once, in the thud of her pulse or the trail of a tear, her decision was made. Gripping her sister’s hand like a lifeline in a stormy sea, Katie lifted her face to the ceiling while water seeped from her lidded eyes. Her voice quivered, but her resolve was sure. “God, Faith says you’re up there, that you care for me and have a plan for my life. If you are, and I’m not just talking to a ceiling, will you show me? Reveal Yourself to me, your love, Your purpose for my life. Please, God, come into my heart and make me the woman you want me to be.”

She opened her eyes then, and somehow the room seemed different. The same ivy wallpaper covered the walls, and the lace-curtained windows still wore pretty green ribbons tied back in a swag. The scent of rosewater hovered in the air, and Miss Buford—the porcelain doll from her youth—still perched on her vanity like some regal judge presiding over her bench. And yet, in the beat of Katie’s heart, everything had changed. She closed her eyes and breathed in the scent of her freedom, tears escaping as surely as her heart had escaped its gloom.

Dear God, can it really be this easy?

Her eyelids fluttered open and she looked at her sister, her words soft with wonder. “I never knew . . . never knew that it could be so easy . . . so real.”

A smile lighted upon her sister’s lips as Faith placed a gentle hand to Katie’s face. “Believing in Him is easy, Katie, because He gives us that tiny seed of faith. And loving Him is even more so, because when you see how He moves on your behalf, your heart will spill over with joy. But unfortunately, living for Him is not so easy. Feelings and doubts will come and go, but his Word stands forever. Study it, commit it to memory, learn through his Bible what He wants you to do. Because everything in this world will come and go—people we love, financial security, jobs—but God is a constant, and His promises endure forever.”

“Everyone knows the sweetest-smelling roses

have the worst thorns,

so I consider it a small price to pay

for true joy and beauty.”

He slid Marcy a secret smile.

“As long as one keeps his hands to himself,

that is, far from the prickles.”

— Patrick O’Connor, A Light in the Window

Hard as it may be to believe, I am not your typical “girl.” For instance, I’m not big on diamonds, shopping, or roses, and to be honest, I have to be in the mood for chocolate. 

Now … before you quit reading and just write me off, please know that I have mellowed with age and now enjoy shopping once or twice a year with my daughter if I have a conference to go to, am marginally addicted to Hershey Bars, and recently badgered Keith for a new diamond wedding band for our 35^th. 

Although diamonds leave me cold, I did feel it was time for the diamond wedding band since the diamond from my engagement ring fell out while cleaning my house about 20 years ago and I never did find it. Frankly a big, hunky diamond sticking up on my ring finger annoys me because it catches on things and just gets in the way, so I wasn’t overly upset when I lost it. For the next 20 years I simply wore a plain gold band that originally had a pretty engraved flower motif, which eventually wore off. But this year—our 35^th—I went for the gold … uh, and the diamonds … so now I won’t look like bag lady when I go to writer’s conferences. 🙂

And roses? Yes, I suppose I liked it when Keith gave me roses for the birth of my kids and for a number of our anniversaries, too. And, yes, they’re very pretty of course and smell good, but then they die and you have to pick up all the dead petals and wash the stupid vase. And it smells, for goodness sake!! I know, I know … for a romance writer, I’m not all that romantic, am I? 

BUT … I am dirt-practical, so when I discovered a way to make roses last forever, I absolutely fell in love with them! And, no, I’m not talking plastic or silk roses here, I’m talking the real thing, in a very, very special way.

For instance, did you know that you can take any rose cutting—be it from roses you received as a gift or a clipping from your neighbor’s garden—and stick it in the ground and have a rosebush next year? Well, it’s true, and I have proven it over and over again during my former gardening days when I was SO into gardening, that I even won a perennial garden contest. Check out the picture above showing some of the rosebushes at my old house that came from those few initial clippings!!

So today, I’m going to share the secret with you so that you, too, can enjoy roses that last forever! And September is THE month to do this, so give it a shot!

1.) Take a rose clipping with a stem about 4 to 6 inches in length and stick it in the ground where you want to plant it. I have found that the best roses to do this with are Jackson & Perkin’s pink rose hedges, which used to grow profusely in berms along the parking lot where I used to work. I SO fell in love with them that I asked the maintenance director if I could take a few clippings home, and he said yes. So I planted several of the cuttings and eventually ended up with about twelve nice-sized rosebushes in my yard, ALL from one or two cuttings!!

2.) Water the rose stem really well and cover it with a glass jar, stabilizing it with a little edging of mulch around the bottom so no air gets in.

3.) Don’t touch or lift the glass jar until next spring when all danger of frost is past. When you take the jar off, you will have a tiny rose bush that will grow and grow and grow! Easy and fun, so give it a shot! I gave a clipping to a friend about twenty years ago, and check out a bloom from that same cutting that has bred two gardens full of rosebushes!!

You know, if you think about it, roses are a lot like life—at times it looks good, feels good, smells good and makes us happy. But then there are those nasty thorns, pests and fungi that sap our energy and make us sick, weak, and sometimes even die. Which is all the more reason we need to incubate, like the roses above under glass, in the warmth and safety of God’s Word and grace. This is where we can thrive and grow strong enough to handle the world and all its trials, offering the world the sweet fragrance of a rose that lives forever, from this life into the next.

ONE LAST CELEBRITY MONTAGE FOR … A LIGHT IN THE WINDOW!!

WHOO-HOO … one of my VERY creative reader friends, Salyna, put together celebrity collages for each of my books, choosing who she thought the characters would look like. This week is the final week and the featured book is A Light in the Window (September 6 – 13), so check out which celebrities Salyna chose at Kissed Books Blog! Can you say DROOL????

LISTEN TO ME READ AN EXCERPT FROM LOVE AT ANY COST!

It’s Open Mic night at Southern Writers Magazine, and I am up, so be sure to check it out, then head on over to the Take Five section of the magazine’s website to hear me read (more like stumble through) my favorite romantic scene from my latest book, Love at Any Cost.

WHOO-HOO … SOUTHERN WRITERS MAGAZINE “TAKE FIVE” WINNER!!

And everything is coming up roses for BONNIE ROOF, an adorable reader friend who took up my challenge last week to listen to an excerpt I read from Love at Any Cost for the “Take Five” segment of Southern Writers Magazine. Bonnie not only found the two mistakes I thought I’d made in my reading, but she atually found a TON more, so YAY, Bonnie—you have won your choice of a signed copy of any of my books! SUPER CONGRATS, my sweet friend!!

Hugs and Here’s hoping everything’s coming up roses for you too!! Happy Weekend!

Julie

Your will—not mine—be done.

Katie tugged on her final stitch and broke the thread with her teeth,

hoping with everything in her that Faith’s words were true:

His will . . . the path to our highest pleasure.

— Katie O’Connor, A Heart Revealed by Julie Lessman 

I know, I know … I’ve been talking an awful lot about “God’s will lately, but that’s because after sixty-two long, stubborn years, I have FINALLY learned that, indeed, His will IS the path to our highest pleasure.

Ironically, it’s been something I’ve been writing about in my books since the very beginning, making sure it was a lesson the O’Connor family learned over and over again. (Oh, and speaking of the O’Connors, at the end of this post, be sure to check out the final montage that Salyna did for the entire O’Connor clan, which has a different Patrick O’Connor that I LOVE!!). 

Anyway, doing things God’s way is something I’ve believed whole-heartedly from the moment I first embraced a personal relationship with Jesus at the age of twenty-three. Whole-heartedly, yes, and with all of my mind too. But emotionally? Well, I thought so … until I went on my May fast to seek God’s direction for my writing. Suddenly, it became crystal clear that my will was butting heads with God’s and I didn’t even fully realize it. 

Till now. 

Now, I can honestly say with everything in me that His will IS the path to my highest pleasure because God knows my will has wrought nothing but heartache and disappointment. And can I just tell you what an absolute skin-tingling freedom it is to want His will instead of my own? Talk about a spiritual 4^th of July!!

So, how’d it happen, you want to know? Well, it wasn’t fast because I’ve been praying about God’s will for my writing for five years now, both on my own and with my prayer partners. But the will is a tricky thing, especially for Christians because on the outside we are saying, doing and believing all the right things, but on the inside? Hate to say it, but most of us are (or at least I was) all about gritted teeth and white-knuckled grips on the things we want God to do—our own personal “will checklist,” be it the type of job we want, the relationships we want, the type of success we crave, and so on.

Oh sure, I would always pray for God’s will, but deep down inside, I hoped and prayed it coincided with mine and when it didn’t? I was ticked, troubled, and totally depressed, not exactly banner boosters for one’s faith in God. So, as many of you know, I fasted something very important to me—people approval through emails and good reviews—by fasting Amazon and emails for a solid month. At the same time, I read two books as daily devotionals, reading a page or two everyday. The two books were Catherine Marshall’s Beyond Our Selves—absolutely one of the MOST incredible books I’ve ever read and HIGHLY recommend, and Anita Higman’s Where God Finds You, a wonderful daily devotional as seen through the perspective of Bible characters. 

God used these two books to open my eyes to—along with my daily Bible reading, of course—the bottom line in having a solid and joyful faith. Which is?

It’s all about Him—and His will for us—not about us or our will.

And you want to know why? Because as Mrs. Gerson basically said in A Passion Most Pure, God is like Milton Bradley—He made the game of life and in order to win, you have to play by His rules (His will). Not because he wants to lord it over us, pun intended, but because He loves us and knows that His will is the path to our highest pleasure.

Does your faith feel stymied, shallow, as if your relationship with God is a wee bit long-distance like mine did? Then I encourage you to go deeper with a month-long fast of something you love (maybe even love a little too much!) such as chocolate or Starbuck cinnamon dolce lattes or if you’re an author, then Amazon, as in my case. My husband does not like me to fast dinner, and I don’t eat lunch, so food is not really an option for me, but for some of you it can be. They say it only takes 30 days to make or break a habit, and I have to say that in my experience, that has been true. I no longer am obsessed with Amazon and rarely go there anymore, which has not only been SUCH a freedom, but it’s drawn me closer to His will by changing the bad habits of mine.

And while you’re doing your month-long fast? I encourage you to pray about what books God would have you read during that month as far as devotionals. I HIGHLY recommend Beyond Ourselves, but there are so many others that have drawn me closer to Him as well such as The Well by Mark Hall, pastor and lead singer of Casting Crowns, the N.Y. Times Bestseller One Thousand Gifts by Anne Voskamp, or Anita’s wonderful devotional mentioned above. Mind you, they don’t have to be actual devotionals—I generally take a normal book like Beyond Ourselves and read a page or two everyday. Give it a shot—you’ll be amazed at just HOW much God speaks to you and draws you near. 

UPCOMING NEWS!

August 30 – September 12!

WHOO-HOO … one of my VERY creative reader friends put together celebrity collages for each of my books, choosing who she thought the characters would look like. These two week’s featured books are A Love Surrendered (August 30 – September 5) and A Light in the Window (September 6 – 13), so check out which celebrities she chose at Kissed Books Blog!

August 30 – September 12!

It’s Open Mic night at Southern Writers Magazine, and I am up, so be sure to check it out, then head on over to the Take Five section of the magazine’s website to hear me read (more like stumble through) my favorite romantic scene from my atest book, Love at Any Cost. And just for fun, if you can find the two word mess-ups I made while reading the excerpt, let me know through the “Contact Julie” tab of this website, and I’ll toss your name in the hat for your choice of any of my books. Good luck and be sure to check out all the cool tabs at Southern Writers Magazine’s website!

Hugs and Happy Labor Day Weekend!

Julie